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[andrew]

How big is the drive for you to get enough speed up to cause anything more than a scratch? You driving a monster truck?

Women drivers

I think you should duck for cover.

[darwin dali]

How big is the drive for you to get enough speed up to cause anything more than a scratch? You driving a monster truck?

Women drivers

[andrew]

McLaren, how dare you imply that women are bad drivers!!

[racechick]

Im fine going forward. Its a big drive and i forget other things are in it.

[andrew]

Sounds like a road to me.

[The_Stig_Money]

I use to work construction and one day I was super glueing a piece to my saw horses and the glue dried on my hand sticking me to my saw horses with my work on them.

I had some denatured alcohol to get me unstuck but could not reach it. I had to wait for 30 minutes for a Spanish speaking painter to hand me my denatured alcohol. I considered that time my lunch break.

[stonemonkey]

You know the thing you hit with a mallet to ring the bell at the fairground, thought I'd give it a go. First hit got about halfway up, second hit the mallet was at an angle and didn't do much, third and really going for it but missed the thing completely instead hitting my foot and breaking my toe.

[SennaVille]

A few years ago, I went through a weird spell of medical ailments. I was diagnosed with something called Iritis which is not very common autoimmune issue in the iris of the eyes. 50 some odd blood tests later they still didn't have an explanation as t why I was having it. The treatment is simple, steroid eye drops. My doctor even had my case forwarded to the NIH the National Institute of Health in DC for review by a team of Doctors there, no one could figure out why, to this day. During this same time frame however, I also in the middle of the night experienced a severe charlie horse on my right calf. The muscle contracted severely and a lump the size of a golf ball developed and then seemingly popped. It was a blood vessel in my calf that had ruptured.
This was not only extremely painful but pretty much hobbled me for a couple of weeks. One evening the pain was so severe that my wife talked me into going to the hospital to get it checked out.
What she'd also convinced me of was that I should tell the doctors at the hospital that she thought from researching on the internet that there was some obscure disease that can be gotten in the Arabian peninsula, that included both the ruptured blood vessel in the leg, the eye inflammation and... ready for this? A red blotches in the duck, well I had approximately a dozen different doctors come and take a look at my d!ck that evening, only to tell me that my wife should lay off the internet diagnosis of medical conditions.

That's cringeworthy SennaVille.

Man, how tame was my silly puppet show?

I can't believe you posted that, we all now have ammunition for years....spotty sausage!! <manic laughter

[SennaVille]

You know the thing you hit with a mallet to ring the bell at the fairground, thought I'd give it a go. First hit got about halfway up, second hit the mallet was at an angle and didn't do much, third and really going for it but missed the thing completely instead hitting my foot and breaking my toe.

I'm not laughing, promise *snort*.

[andrew]

I'm not laughing, promise *snort*.

Says the person who had their hand up Sooty's backside. BWAHAHAHA!!!!

[SennaVille]

I'm not laughing, promise *snort*.

Says the person who had their hand up Sooty's backside. BWAHAHAHA!!!!

Gingerbread man! Stick to the facts!

[andrew]

Same thing slightly different.

[andrew]

Right I've got one. Slightly embarrassing but more awkward. This story is possibly a bit adult orientated.

So on Saturday after lunch, I thought it was a fine but slightly cold day so I headed out for a walk with the camera. I was taking in the view past the south breakwater at the harbour entrance next to the Torry Battery when it started to rain. i couldn't see from which direction the rain was coming from and there wasn't any really heavy clouds so I thought it would pass after a couple minutes and put my hood up on my slightly water-proof jacket. Unfortunately the rain started to get heavier so I thought I'd find shelter seeing as it is a 40 minute walk home and it is not to be recommended when you are soaked through after being caught in a monsoon.

Just round the corner from where I was standing there is a concrete box with an open front sunk into a grassy bank just off the road on the public steps down to the water level so I thought I'll wait inside there until the rain had gone off as I had done several times before. It's worth pointing out that Torry Battery used to get a few mentions in the local press due to the lack of street lighting and ample car parking at night but this was about 3pm so you are more than likely to be safe from the horrors of what supposedly goes on after dark. There were older folks sitting in their cars taking in the view and reading their paper, dog walkers and others out with their kids so you'd think your safe up there in the day time.

As I stepped off the footpath towards the shelter I saw that there were 2 people already there. When I got closer I noticed that going by the interlocking of their faces they have been previously aquainted. Just as I was away to step into the shelter I noticed that the female had what I can only assume was a nervous twitch in her right arm. Suffice to say I stepped back onto the steps and decided to get wet instead - what else was I meant to do?! I don't think I've ever felt more awkward in my life but I did have a laugh to myself.

It gets worse and unfunny after this. Just after I got to the bottom of the steps I noticed that there was a bloke wlking a child of about 5 down the steps and just behind him was what I assume is his other half with a child of about 2 or 3. Luckily the bloke saw me looking up the steps and I gave a casual nod towards the shelter to which he looked in and guied the young-uns away. That could have led to some awkward and premature questions for the poor guy!

Now I'm far from a prude but if you're going to get up to that sort of thing doing it where there are going to be people who are easily offended or children going past in full view is just totally wrong. Use a quiet and hardly visited corner of a graveyard for crying out loud!

I was a bit embarrassed. Not the sort of thing you expect to see in the middle of the afternoon in a place that open to public view.

[darwin dali]

Ah young love!

[andrew]

Filthy swines!