- 19 Jun 06, 13:06#1062
It was a beautiful evening last week when my hopes for a restful summer were shattered by the noise of a moaning feline. At first I had hoped the girlfriend would resist the whimpers of such an annoying cute shorthaired black moggy, but oh no, out she went for a gratuitous petting session.
Twenty minutes later, and just as if the cat had some form of highly contagious whining disease, the now fur covered girlfriend proceeds to whine at me, sobbing such horrendous words as ‘stray’, ‘feed’, ‘home’, ‘adopt’! At this point I backed away and searched for a cat sized jiffy bag…
Two days passed without the aforementioned snivelling four legged Rasputin disturbing us, but its effect on the girlfriend remained. She spent most of the weekend wandering around like a lost soul, talking about the cat and looking out the window for her lost friend. I should point out at this point that the girlfriend isn’t simple, but a real cat lover, and a pushover when it comes to anything beautiful (oh I do flatter myself sometimes)…
Anyway…last night I return from a birthday meal and the cat shaped demon is waiting by the door…happy fricking birthday to me! Thirty minutes later and we are back in the flat, cat outside, me in bed with the lady. Then it starts meowing, ten minutes later and every meow is followed by a whimper from the girlfriend – 2 minutes after this and the lights are on, my clothes are on and I’m regretting not buying that gun.
So whilst most people were asleep, I was outside the front door at midnight offering the cat anything to shut up - milk, chicken, cash in unmarked bills, plastic bag over the head…but now I’m wondering what our next move should be. The cat is adorable, it doesn’t have a collar, it’s scared of unfamiliar people (and me – so it’s also intelligent) and at the moment at least it doesn’t have a place to sleep at night.
Can anyone suggest any advice, as I really don’t want to say yes to the girlfriend inviting the fur bag inside with the prospect of it:
A. having owners (perhaps on holiday) or;
B. being taken away from her at a later date.
Twenty minutes later, and just as if the cat had some form of highly contagious whining disease, the now fur covered girlfriend proceeds to whine at me, sobbing such horrendous words as ‘stray’, ‘feed’, ‘home’, ‘adopt’! At this point I backed away and searched for a cat sized jiffy bag…
Two days passed without the aforementioned snivelling four legged Rasputin disturbing us, but its effect on the girlfriend remained. She spent most of the weekend wandering around like a lost soul, talking about the cat and looking out the window for her lost friend. I should point out at this point that the girlfriend isn’t simple, but a real cat lover, and a pushover when it comes to anything beautiful (oh I do flatter myself sometimes)…
Anyway…last night I return from a birthday meal and the cat shaped demon is waiting by the door…happy fricking birthday to me! Thirty minutes later and we are back in the flat, cat outside, me in bed with the lady. Then it starts meowing, ten minutes later and every meow is followed by a whimper from the girlfriend – 2 minutes after this and the lights are on, my clothes are on and I’m regretting not buying that gun.
So whilst most people were asleep, I was outside the front door at midnight offering the cat anything to shut up - milk, chicken, cash in unmarked bills, plastic bag over the head…but now I’m wondering what our next move should be. The cat is adorable, it doesn’t have a collar, it’s scared of unfamiliar people (and me – so it’s also intelligent) and at the moment at least it doesn’t have a place to sleep at night.
Can anyone suggest any advice, as I really don’t want to say yes to the girlfriend inviting the fur bag inside with the prospect of it:
A. having owners (perhaps on holiday) or;
B. being taken away from her at a later date.
