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[Jabberwocky]

OMG ZA it is like a script from a Final Destination film.

I am sorry for you losses. I was thinking about your post earlier and I realised I do something that I thought was normal but it turns out not to be. On the anniversary of the persons death I do something that I would of done with that person. Eg one of my grandfather's liked to play card, so I will have a game of cards in the anniversary etc

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[sagi58]

As I posted earlier, how I deal with death depends on the person.
I recognized myself in what everyone has posted!

Thank you for sharing!

p.s. zurich-allen, my thoughts and prayers are with you and yours
in this period of hurt. Hopefully, it is finished and you can get on
with healing.

[sagi58]

...On the anniversary of the persons death I do something that I would of done with that person. Eg one of my grandfather's liked to play card, so I will have a game of cards in the anniversary etc

I think that's a very considerate and thoughtful thing to do!

[CookinFlat6]

Well you wouldn't believe it, but there's yet more - found out today that the nephew of one of my friends was killed last night too - 20 years old, walking home from a night out and was hit by a car! THEN at lunchtime today, a very close family friend dropped dead while having lunch - she was 76, so a fair age, but there were no signs, she hadn't been ill, it was just sudden, a likely heart attack...

thats tough Zu - this is why faith works for so many, a belief system that handles deaths and masks the random nature. So even if not religious its best to think what happened was actually for the best in ways that may be hidden to you, or ofcourse you can see it as they are in a new and better place. Obviously its easier said than done especially when its a young person. But what you must not do is dwell on why its happened to you. Ironically enough the best 'faith' system might be to accept the complete randomness of nature

If you havent read it, I suggest you pick up a copy of Voltaires Candide to find unusual 'treatments' of this situation

[zurich_allan]

Well, first funeral was today (the second is on Thursday), it was tough. I think I have found myself questioning the concepts of death and dying more so today than even when I started this thread. Just incredibly depressing.

Edited to add: But tomorrow is another day.

[racechick]

It's the people left behind that suffer. But the pointlessness of everything hits at these sad time. Thoughts with you ZA

[sagi58]

Well, first funeral was today (the second is on Thursday), it was tough...

Did you find it was almost "anti-climactic" in the sense that you've been going through the last few days in a quasi-surrealistic daze. First there was the death. The wake. The waiting. The funeral. And, now, what?

...tomorrow is another day.

Once again, my heartfelt sympathies!