How do you deal with death?

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zurich_allan
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How do you deal with death?

Postby zurich_allan »

I don't mean in a religious or ceremonial sense, I mean personally - how do you deal with it? Do you even actually deal with it? Or do you just try to push it to the back of your mind?

I enjoy living, but I don't enjoy 'life', because along with life comes the cruel juxtaposition of death. An inevitability that never goes away.

Thoughts?
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Re: How do you deal with death?

Postby CookinFlat6 »

Best way to see it is that you wont have to deal with it at all - because you will be dead when it does happen

so you only have to deal with life, i think its best to see it as a surprise waiting for all of us along the way

Of course the Greek philosophers had lots of ideas about how to deal with the knowledge of certainty - 'how can a man die better?' etc

and of course the religious have something to look forward to - which keeps them meek and obedient

For me its the death of loved ones that scares me sh!tless, not mine

interesting topic zurich, btw you are not alone right now are you?
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zurich_allan
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Re: How do you deal with death?

Postby zurich_allan »

No, I'm not alone, don't worry. That's what I mean though - dealing with the deaths of friends and family, not the thought of your own death as such.

I suppose it's more about having to deal with death throughout your own life that I mean when I say - do you actually deal with it? etc.
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Re: How do you deal with death?

Postby What's Burning? »

I believe that death is something that's perceived differently at different stages of life. There is a point in "life" when death is accepted. I don't mean in a going out in a blaze of glory or just to get the 72 virgins or whatever. I mean a point when your life feels complete and you feel content and ready to simply rest.

I know one thing, the ones that sty behind are the ones that suffer most from it.
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Re: How do you deal with death?

Postby sagi58 »

Speaking from the heart, the death someone you care about will always affect you; albeit in different ways.

Losing a loved one will probably wreak the most havoc in your life and as such will be the one you will take the longest to recover from. Depending on the day, I found I needed to be alone, yet there were days where I needed to reminisce with other family members. During the days right after a loss is so busy with the final arrangements that I found myself feeling numb and, contrary to the old adage that "time heals all wounds", I found that initially it got harder with each passing day. It's taken a while; but, things do hurt less.
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Re: How do you deal with death?

Postby sagi58 »

What's Burning? wrote:I believe that death is something that's perceived differently at different stages of life...

Agreed! And, it's perceived differently depending on who it is that has passed.

The passing of an elderly person is sad; but, the death of a young child is devastating.
At least, the elderly have had a chance to live, love, feel, suffer, enjoy, experience,
even if the bad days outnumber the good, they have lived.
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Re: How do you deal with death?

Postby Hammer278 »

I have a weird manner of getting numb when someone I know passes. Most of the time I don't even shed a tear, but I remember crying when my grandfather passed (I was 13 then). Oh and when one of my mums cousins (an uncle many of us loved dearly) was beaten to death, though I think I was most affected by the nature of his death rather than the death itself.

But mostly I just get numb when I hear such news...and get over it quite quickly. Maybe I just haven't had anyone really close to me dying except my grandfather, so I don't know.

In terms of myself dying, I keep telling myself I couldn't care to be honest. If I die tomorrow, all good, I get to see what's next (or if there's any next at all). :hehe:
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Re: How do you deal with death?

Postby racechick »

I'm a bit like that Hammer. I don't deal with it. I go numb and push it away. It tries to pop up at unexpected times and if caught unawares makes me very sad, but usually I can push it away.
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Re: How do you deal with death?

Postby zurich_allan »

It's an odd thing isn't it - people seem to react to it in such different ways. I've had a heavy couple of weeks, two weeks ago a neighbour of my parents died whom I had known since I was a baby, then a few days ago my brother in law's gran died, and finally yesterday my friend whom I have played golf with on a weekly basis for the past 20 years or so died after a two year battle with cancer.

It was weird because I think I got to the stage by the last one yesterday that when I heard the news I just went numb and didn't feel anything initially. Then I felt guilty about my lack of reaction and tried to analyse myself. I think late last night it hit me more.

It's weird though, because thinking about it, there are a lot of people through my life that have died that I don't think I've really ever got over as such, more pushed to the back of my mind like some of you have said.
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Re: How do you deal with death?

Postby geetface9 »

Sorry to hear about all that.

It's always sad when it happens to people you care about. It's a fact of life though, just like the sun rising and setting. The fact of death never bothered me. That's not to say I'm not sad when it happens. I don't push it away or anything. It is just a fact of life and I guess I've accepted it. This is all fake anyway, we're all just in a world surrounded by stained glass that we can't see through. One day the glass shatters for each of us. I'm looking forward to my glass shattering, not because I'm sad, but because I'm bored and tired. :twisted:
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Re: How do you deal with death?

Postby Jabberwocky »

I normally go down the numb route. Then let it all out at the funeral, however at that point all stress about everything comes out in one big snotty dribble mess.

I find that most if my emotions are like a bubble. I have learnt to recognise the signs now so go somewhere where the bubble can pop in safety.

When I was younger not recognising a pop was going to happen would get me into a lot of trouble.

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Re: How do you deal with death?

Postby Frontrunner »

All I know that its tough when its a direct family member, especially when your young. very tough to deal with.
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Re: How do you deal with death?

Postby RyRy »

I haven't had any family or friends die yet... which is good but even if someone does die I really don't think it will effect me in any way but... there are few people who know a lot about me, things that are private and personal and if they were to die then yeah it would hit me pretty hard although you wouldn't know how I'm feeling from the outside. (I'm really good at hiding my feelings)
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Re: How do you deal with death?

Postby LiamCatterson »

My step dad died and I was in bits. It hurt me so much because he was more of a dad to me than my bilogical SOB....And when he went,it hurt me. It did some mental damage to me and I just let out the tears so that's how I handle it. I guess it depends on how I feel for them. My dad died and.because of the way he treated me, I wasn't really sad. Just felt better.
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Re: How do you deal with death?

Postby zurich_allan »

Well you wouldn't believe it, but there's yet more - found out today that the nephew of one of my friends was killed last night too - 20 years old, walking home from a night out and was hit by a car! THEN at lunchtime today, a very close family friend dropped dead while having lunch - she was 76, so a fair age, but there were no signs, she hadn't been ill, it was just sudden, a likely heart attack... :-(
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