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Just as it says...
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By RA Dunk
#157527
Im sure they can hence the "going down like the Titanic" thing lol :rofl:
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By darwin dali
#157568
póg mo thóin yeh fecking bar stewards

:P


A bit harsh :D
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By RA Dunk
#157579
póg mo thóin yeh fecking bar stewards

:P


yea you tell em Longbow :whip:
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By Spiritinthesky
#158513
A woman meets a man in a bar.

They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.

They get back to his place, and he shows her around his apartment.

She notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears.

There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall!

It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display.

There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf.

She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large collection of Teddy Bears,

She is quite impressed by his sensitive side, but doesn't mention this to him.

They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after awhile, she finds herself thinking, 'Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one!

'Maybe he could be the future father of my children?'

She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips. He responds warmly.

They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love.

She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known.

After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow.

The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly, 'Well, how was it?'

The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says:




'Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf'
User avatar
By darwin dali
#163390
Does the bear sh!t in the woods?
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By scotty
#163391
:rofl:
By TheMaster
#165268
It is great feeling to be on a thread like this, where there are plenty of jokes. Thank you all for such nice jokes.
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By texasmr2
#186494
Old Lady In Court


Defense Attorney:
Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady:
I am 94 years old.

Defense Attorney:
Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

Little Old Lady:
There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney:
Did you know him?

Little Old Lady:
No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney:
What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Lady:
He started to rub my thigh..

Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady:
No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney:
Why not?

Little Old Lady:
It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney:
What happened next?

Little Old Lady:
He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady:
No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney:
Why not?

Little Old Lady:
His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney:
What happened next?

Little Old Lady:
Well, by then, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just laid down and told him
'Take me, young man. Take me now!'

Defense Attorney:
Did he take you?

Little Old Lady:
Hell, no! He just yelled, ' April Fool!'
And that's when I shot him, the little bar steward
User avatar
By texasmr2
#186533
:rofl:

Where to Eat?

A group of 40 year-old buddies discuss and discuss where they should meet for dinner. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Brick House restaurant because the waitresses there have low cut blouses and are very attractive.

10 years later, at 50 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Brick House because the food there is very good and the wine selection is good as well.

10 years later at 60 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Brick House because they can eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant is smoke free.

10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Brick House because the restaurant is wheel chair accessible.

10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Brick House because they have never been there before.
By What's Burning?
#188845
Heaven & Hell

Heaven is where the police are British, the chefs Italian, the mechanics German, the lovers French and it's all organized by the Swiss.

Hell is where the police are German, the chefs British, the mechanics French, the lovers Swiss and it's all organized by the Italians.
By What's Burning?
#188906
thats damn good


I know! It's a very fitting F1 community joke. The great thing about it is that it never gets old.
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