The 2009 F1 season is due to start in Melbourne on 29 March. Before that, though, F1 aficionados have to amuse themselves by making predictions that have little basis in fact, and asking questions that will probably never be answered. Forumula1.com presents a few of these.
Predictions:
1. There will be loads of broken front wings. Not my words the words of Nick Quick Nick Heidfeld.
2. An Adrian Newey-designed car will break down because of gearbox trouble.
3. Fernando Alonso will outclass Nelson Piquet Jr. However good that pug-ugly R29 is.
4. Both Grands Prix in Spain will be dull, processional affairs.
5. Everyone, everywhere, will miss the Canadian GP.
6. Someone, somewhere, will miss James Allen.
7. This year s Toro Rosso will be less impressive than last year s.
8. Somebody will cut a chicane – cue big argument. Sort it out, FIA boys. Put fire there or something.
9. The dads of Felipe and Lewis will be shown on TV when there s nothing else going on.
10. Nicole Pussycat Doll will be the main attraction for a lot of cameramen.
Questions:
1. Why are Giancarlo Fisichella and Rubens Barrichello still with us?
2. Can Vijay Mallya s trousers ever match his mouth?
3. Will putting a snowplough on the front, and a 110m hurdle on the back, of F1 cars actually improve the spectacle, or just make them look a bit silly?
4. Does Kimi actually care, or is he thinking about something else?
5. How will Mark Webber fare against Sebastian Vettel?
6. Is Jenson still going to moan about not being competitive? Mate, if it didn’t happen last year, don’t hold out hope for this year.
7. Have Ferrari worked out what to do with their throttle if it rains?
8. Will Nick Fry still be smiling, despite first losing his fairy godmother (Honda) and then losing his team to Ross Brawn?
9. Can Heikki avoid becoming the next DC?
10. Is Bernie going mad? Medals, man?