Joke of the Day

[What's Burning?]

what does a frog say when it's horny?

rub it... rub it.

[vlad]

Great one!

[LewEngBridewell]

Erotic

[andrew]

What does a frog ask for when it want to by condoms?

Ribb-ed ribb-ed.

Trule terrible.

[Plane_Jane]

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING umpalumpa?

(because they are plugged into a genius)

2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING umpalumpa?

(they don't have enough time)

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?

(they don't stop to ask directions)

4******************

5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?

(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)

this is my favorite

6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?

(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?

(don't know.....it never happened)

( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)

And the personal favorite:

)

One for the ladies
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, 'University of Oklahoma.'
And they say blondes are dumb...
-----------------------------------------------
A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'
-----------------------------------------------------------
'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
-----------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
-----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'

[andrew]

I'll have you know that I put the toilet seat down and can just about work the washing machine - I've mastered one of the settings!
------------------------------

News flash: scores of dyslexic parents have just beaten up Jimmy Sommerville.

[Jabberwocky]

Setting 3 for everything I find works best

[andrew]

We must have the same machine!

[Jabberwocky]

I find setting 3 is always a safe bet, even when confronted by a washing machine that all the writing is in a different language!

[darwin dali]

That's the best joke of the day by itself: two men talking shop about washing machines

[What's Burning?]

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, 'University of Oxford.'

the relative humor of the joke depends on the name of the university. fascinating.

[Jabberwocky]

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, 'University of Oxford.'

the relative humor of the joke depends on the name of the university. fascinating.

Your a Cambridge fan then!

[What's Burning?]

SKIP IF YOU'RE NOT INTO OFFENSIVE JOKES.


What do you call an abortion in Prague?













... a cancelled czech.

[Jabberwocky]

SKIP IF YOU'RE NOT INTO OFFENSIVE JOKES.


What do you call an abortion in Prague?













... a cancelled czech.

That is groan worthy lol

[scotty]

It's like a more edgy Christmas cracker joke.