Joke of the Day

[vlad]

If that's Andrew, guess who you are...

[darwin dali]

Oh hey hey hey, I got one!!


Felipe Massa.

I got an even better one!

Mark Webber

Cracks me up every time!

Ah I didn't even see this before!!!!! andrew you dirty dog!!

YUP THAT'S ANDREW

Top or bottom?

[andrew]

Neither is me of course but I admire the dogs style.

[andrew]

A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walked into a Bar. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"

The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her.

But down at the end of the bar, an owl-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!"

The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down. She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"

Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!"

The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "Tell me, it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her a ballerina?"

The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!"

[LewEngBridewell]

Such gorgeous images!

[geetface9]

BRO I JUST ATE... :VOMIT:

[Jabberwocky]

A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: "Pint please, and one for the road."

[Hammer278]

A 16-year-old girl finally had the opportunity to go to a party by herself. Since she was very good-looking, she was a bit nervous about what to do if boys hit on her. Her mom said, "It's very easy! Whenever a boy starts hitting on you, you ask him, 'What will be the name of our baby?' That'll scare them off." So off she went. After a little while at the party, a boy started dancing with her, and little by little he started kissing her and touching her. She asked him, "What will our baby be called?" The boy found some excuse and disappeared. Some time later, the same thing happened again: a boy started to kiss her neck, her shoulders... She stopped him and asked about the baby's name, and he ran off.

Later on, another boy invited her for a walk. After a few minutes, he started kissing her, and she asked him, "What will our baby be called?" He continued, now slowly taking her clothes off. "What will our baby be called?" she asked once more. He began to have umpalumpa with her. "What will our baby be called?!" she asked again. After he was done, he took off his "full" condom, gave it a knot, and said, "If he gets out of this one... David Copperfield!

[vlad]

Never gets old!

[andrew]

I went up to a girl in a club and said, "Do you want to have umpalumpa right now?"

She said, "No!"

I said, "Do you even know what I said?"

She said, "Yes."

I said, "What did I say?"

She said, "Do you want to have umpalumpa right now."

I said, "Yes".

[madbrad]

[5thgearmax]

haha this thread is always good for a good laugh

[What's Burning?]

A neutron walks into a bar, gets a drink, asks the bartender how much... the bartender says for you NO CHARGE!

sorry, couldn't help myself... it's an oldie but I'm feeling both scientific and silly today.

[Hammer278]

A neutron walks into a bar, gets a drink, asks the bartender how much... the bartender says for you NO CHARGE!

sorry, couldn't help myself... it's an oldie but I'm feeling both scientific and silly today.

Sure you didn't steal this from Sheldon in Big Bang Theory?

[scotty]

[youtube]KTymy-wc0YQ[/youtube]