Joke of the Day

[madbrad]

Why do blondes prefer convertibles?


















More legroom.

[Big Azza]

I have a fetish for lame jokes. One day I'm going to be awesome at really lame dad jokes to embarrass my kids.

Two peanuts were walking down a spooky road at night. One was assaulted.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

What's brown and sounds like a bell? Dung.

What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A Roamin' Catholic.

How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb?

Where do kings keep their armies? In their sleevies.

What did the Kiwi say to the Jew? Hebrew.

What did the Kiwi say to the sculpture? Statue Bro?

[vlad]

Hahaha, some really good ones there!

[Hammer278]

Q:How many amnesia patients does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A:To get to the other side.

[vlad]

Hahahahaha!

[madbrad]

If you have ADD, what- hey that's a nice bike!

[vlad]

Guy goes to doctor (female) and complains:
Doctor, I have an erection 24 hours a day. I tried everything! umpalumpa 'till I'm exhausted, masturbation... Nothing helps. What can you give to me?

-Flat, food and 500$ on a monthly base!

[synsei]

Age Related Attention Deficit Disorder:


This is how it develops:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox, when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only 1 check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.

I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do. At the end of the day:

----the car isn't washed,
----the bills aren't paid,
----there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
----the flowers don't have enough water,
----there is still only 1 check in my check book,
----I can't find the remote,
----I can't find my glasses,
----and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I will try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

This joke isn't mine, but it reflects my life to a tee...

[Big Azza]

Here is my own variation of a nerdy joke previously about java.

Knock Knock
Who's There?
............
..........
.........
......
.........
.........
........
.......
.......
.....
(2 minutes later)
Felipe Massa.

[Big Azza]

Oh an here's another one I made up:

Q. What do you call a confused goat who goes moo?
A. An udder-ly confused goat!

[Rissoles]

Oh an here's another one I made up:

Q. What do you call a confused goat who goes moo?
A. An udder-ly confused goat!

You really made that up????


(don't give up the day job )

[geetface9]

Here is my own variation of a nerdy joke previously about java.

Knock Knock
Who's There?
............
..........
.........
......
.........
.........
........
.......
.......
.....
(2 minutes later)
Felipe Massa.

[geetface9]

Oh hey hey hey, I got one!!


Felipe Massa.

[Rissoles]

Oh hey hey hey, I got one!!


Felipe Massa.

Er... that's two

[Hammer278]

Oh hey hey hey, I got one!!


Felipe Massa.