- 02 Dec 10, 15:14#228275Alonso - I'm a talentless cheating hack and I know it
A follow-up second sensational scoop has surfaced - fresh from the mouth of Fernando Alonso!
In the interview Fernando finally admits he is a total d1@k and has the personality of #7 Spear and Jackson shovel. When pressed for a comment on his poor education, as reveal by Petrov, Fernando said "it wasn't my fault I couldn't graduate from 3rd grade, it would have embarrassed my dad if we were both in 4th grade at the same time!".
He also offered this clarification on his time at McLaren in '07. "I always knew Lewis was a better driver, that was a given, but what really upset me (apart from hurting my fist on the motor-home door in China) was that he could send 2 texts to my one. No wonder he ended up with all the chicks."
"Yes, I haven't actually ever driven a good race, or deserved any wins or points, I've always managed by "paying-off" my bosses to get all the drivers ahead of me to move over - I call it my "red sea" move. In fact, without that smoke and mirrors trick I'm actually no better driver than your average London cabby.
Alonso seemed a little stumped when asked about the Abu Dhabi race. In the end he claimed that it was all Felipe's fault. If Felipe had ploughed through all the other cars then waved Nando through, he would be WDC today - "Felipe has a lot to answer for, and I for one will be shaking my fists at him every race possible. Mind you I'll probably have to wait till he laps me to get my chance to do that."
We couldn't let the opportunity go to press Fernando on his real opinion of the British press. "I think I misjudged them, I always thought they were only interested in cheap sensational headlines designed to pander to the more extreme views of the polarised massess. Having studied page 3, I realise ........ where was I"
For anyone interested here is the complete Spanish transcription of the interview:-
"Buenas tardes, como estas?"
"He was the fastest driver I ever saw - faster even than Fangio"
________________________- Mike Hawthorn on Alberto Ascari