FORUMula1.com - F1 Forum

[darwin dali]

Life before the computer
****************************

Memory was something that you lost with age.

An application was for employment.

A program was a TV show.

A cursor used profanity.

A keyboard was a piano.

A web was a spider's home.

A virus was the flu.

A CD was a bank account.

A hard drive was a long trip on the road.

A mouse pad was where a mouse lived.

And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy...
...you just hoped nobody found out.

[vlad]

Hahaha, fantastic, especially the one with the Indians!

[darwin dali]

A gynecologist has a midlife crisis and decides to leave the medical
profession and go to school to become an auto mechanic. Pretty soon it's time for his
final exam.
He finishes his exam and is amazed to see that the instructor has given him a
grade of 200. He says to the instructor, "I thought the highest score you
could get on the test was 100".
"It is", the instructor replies. "I gave you 50 for taking the engine apart
correctly, 50 for putting it back together correctly, and the extra 100 for
doing it through the muffler".

[What's Burning?]

What's the difference between a gynecologist and a dentist? ............


























.
TEETH!

[vlad]

Hahahaha!

[texasmr2]

A policeman was driving down the motorway when a Really HOT looking BLONDE in a red 360 spider overtook him at great speed.

So he puts his lights on and pulls her over. Just before he got out of the cop car to give the blonde a talking to, he calls his supervisor and tells him what was going on.

"OK! This is what you do!
Walk up to the car and unzip your fly.
TRUST ME on this one!"

So the cop puts down the radio and walks up to the blonde in the red 360 spider and unzips
his fly. The Blonde let out a loud sigh and said,

"Not another breathalyzer test!"

[vlad]

Hahahahahaha!!!

[F1er]

An old lady dies and goes to heaven. She's chatting it up with St.
Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most
awful bloodcurdling screams.Don't worry about that', says St. Peter,
'it's only someonehaving the holes put into her shoulder blades for
wings.'
The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on with the
conversation.Ten minutes later, there are more blood curdling
screams.'Oh my God', says the old lady, 'now what is happening?'
Not to worry', says St. Peter, 'She's just having her head drilled
to fit the halo.'I can't do this', says the old lady, 'I'm going to
hell.''You can't go there', says St. Peter. 'You'll be raped and
sodomized.'
'Maybe so', says the old lady, 'but I've already got the holes
drilled for that!'

[vlad]

Dirty, dirty!

[acosmichippo]

[darwin dali]

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their
parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The
next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their
stories.
There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies
saved. But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only
Janie was left.

"Janie, do you have a story to share?"

'Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a
Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to
bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of
whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break,
and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi
troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of
bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and
then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."

''Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher. What did your Daddy
tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"

"Don't f--- with Mommy when she's been drinking."

[acosmichippo]

Obi-Wan Kenobi Is Dead



CORUSCANT — Obi-Wan Kenobi, the mastermind of some of the most devastating attacks on the Galactic Empire and the most hunted man in the galaxy, was killed in a firefight with Imperial forces near Alderaan, Darth Vader announced on Sunday.

Full story and pictures of OWK's compound here.

[Jabberwocky]

[darwin dali]

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

[darwin dali]

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs
and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I
started doing the same thing to them at funerals.