- 17 Dec 13, 16:44#384619
Are you sitting comfortably? Like a good laugh? Then I'll begin.
Today I went shopping with my sister....in the centre of Nottingham ( she's not from round here) in her jag, correction, her partners jag and it's MASSIVE.
First multi storey car park and there's queuing. "If there's queuing it means there aren't many spaces and I might have to squeeze the car in a little gap" says my sister panic rising. "And it won't fit round tight turns" she then winds down the window and shouts to a car park man to ask what the hold up is. Car park is full. So that's it, convinced she won't find a big space we pull out of the queue into four lanes of traffic, go round the block and find another one.
Second multi storey car park and a sign says lots of spaces. Brilliant! But as we join the queue going in my sister realises she has to make quite a sharp right turn into the car park( you know those entrances where you get the tickets from)Panic begins, " I won't get round that corner, it's too little, I'll scratch the car". Then she sees scuff marks from other cars that haven't made it. " I'm Not going in there" . But this time we cannot pull out of the queue so everyone has to start reversing until she can swing out and go down a little street opposite. ....a narrow street but at the end is a car park sign and we think it might be a normal surface car park. But no, it's a private car park, and parked near its entrance is a red parcel force van. My sister is now stuck. She can't get past the red van to get into the private car park to turn round and go back, and she can't reverse all that way avoiding obstacles, like another van. Red van man is nice, he's also laughing. " I tell you what" he says, " you reverse back a bit so I can get past you, then you can come head on into that private car park, turn around and get out" . She is still sceptical about getting through the car park gate but he assures her he can do it in his big van.....the red one looks pretty big!! Anyway, we settle on the plan and she starts reversing then horror! another car comes from nowhere and wants to come past . My sister has to reverse even further whilst nice van man explains to car driver the problem. Eventually car driver squeezes past ....laughing...red van man turns his van round, and stops next to us. My sister explains the dilemma with getting into carparks and he gives us directions for road side parking with a meter. And he goes. So we try to drive into the private car park to turn around and the jag starts going mental! Squeaking and squawking and flashing because it thinks we're going to crash. So I'm out the car directing her in, and eventually we inch in, turn around and drive out.
We follow red van man's instructions and on the second right turn run into immediate problems. The street is one way....and narrow, two vans parked on the right and a lorry unloading a bit further up on the left. " I won't get through that gap " she says. So she stops. Cars are now backing up behind us, onto the main road and soon a policeman arrives. " I can't get through that gap " says my sister to the policeman.
"It's ok Madame , I'll help you, " So he directs us through the gap, and when we get to the gap it's huge! Lorry driver man is not as nice as red van man and is scowling, he says to the policeman " I pulled right up on the kerb" . " it's ok says the policeman, she just being cautious."
Well the street parking is full, so we're heading now for multi storey number three. And to cut a long story short, having gone down the turning for the carpark, she couldn't bottle out when she saw the carpark entrance, because we were in a single lane into it with kerbs on each side, so we had to go in. Panic! panic! panic! But we made it. I did contemplate taking over the driving but the Jag has more gizmos and buttons to press than my iPad! I'd have had it flying, literally flying round the carpark and sending out emails at the same time!
But with expert guiding from me we parked it and here it is. It took us an hour and a half to park the car!!
And here's my proud sister ,
Today I went shopping with my sister....in the centre of Nottingham ( she's not from round here) in her jag, correction, her partners jag and it's MASSIVE.
First multi storey car park and there's queuing. "If there's queuing it means there aren't many spaces and I might have to squeeze the car in a little gap" says my sister panic rising. "And it won't fit round tight turns" she then winds down the window and shouts to a car park man to ask what the hold up is. Car park is full. So that's it, convinced she won't find a big space we pull out of the queue into four lanes of traffic, go round the block and find another one.
Second multi storey car park and a sign says lots of spaces. Brilliant! But as we join the queue going in my sister realises she has to make quite a sharp right turn into the car park( you know those entrances where you get the tickets from)Panic begins, " I won't get round that corner, it's too little, I'll scratch the car". Then she sees scuff marks from other cars that haven't made it. " I'm Not going in there" . But this time we cannot pull out of the queue so everyone has to start reversing until she can swing out and go down a little street opposite. ....a narrow street but at the end is a car park sign and we think it might be a normal surface car park. But no, it's a private car park, and parked near its entrance is a red parcel force van. My sister is now stuck. She can't get past the red van to get into the private car park to turn round and go back, and she can't reverse all that way avoiding obstacles, like another van. Red van man is nice, he's also laughing. " I tell you what" he says, " you reverse back a bit so I can get past you, then you can come head on into that private car park, turn around and get out" . She is still sceptical about getting through the car park gate but he assures her he can do it in his big van.....the red one looks pretty big!! Anyway, we settle on the plan and she starts reversing then horror! another car comes from nowhere and wants to come past . My sister has to reverse even further whilst nice van man explains to car driver the problem. Eventually car driver squeezes past ....laughing...red van man turns his van round, and stops next to us. My sister explains the dilemma with getting into carparks and he gives us directions for road side parking with a meter. And he goes. So we try to drive into the private car park to turn around and the jag starts going mental! Squeaking and squawking and flashing because it thinks we're going to crash. So I'm out the car directing her in, and eventually we inch in, turn around and drive out.
We follow red van man's instructions and on the second right turn run into immediate problems. The street is one way....and narrow, two vans parked on the right and a lorry unloading a bit further up on the left. " I won't get through that gap " she says. So she stops. Cars are now backing up behind us, onto the main road and soon a policeman arrives. " I can't get through that gap " says my sister to the policeman.
"It's ok Madame , I'll help you, " So he directs us through the gap, and when we get to the gap it's huge! Lorry driver man is not as nice as red van man and is scowling, he says to the policeman " I pulled right up on the kerb" . " it's ok says the policeman, she just being cautious."
Well the street parking is full, so we're heading now for multi storey number three. And to cut a long story short, having gone down the turning for the carpark, she couldn't bottle out when she saw the carpark entrance, because we were in a single lane into it with kerbs on each side, so we had to go in. Panic! panic! panic! But we made it. I did contemplate taking over the driving but the Jag has more gizmos and buttons to press than my iPad! I'd have had it flying, literally flying round the carpark and sending out emails at the same time!
But with expert guiding from me we parked it and here it is. It took us an hour and a half to park the car!!
And here's my proud sister ,
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You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.
Abe Lincoln
Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. Abe Lincoln
Abe Lincoln
Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. Abe Lincoln
