Writing Competition Number 4

Make this site better with your ideas and suggestions.

Time to vote for your favourite article

Poll ended at 14 Mar 14, 22:52

Church and church workers in danger of extinction.
1
25%
The first time.
1
25%
What I think F1 Technology should be.
0
No votes
Boots target vaginas for Christmas.
0
No votes
The Formula1 story
2
50%
 
Total votes: 4

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Re: Writing Competition Number 4

Post by sagi58 »

Love it! So very beautifully describes "the first time" every time! :cloud9:
Thank you for submitting that!! :clap:
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Re: Writing Competition Number 4

Post by racechick »

:readit: :study:
Here is the THIRD entry to Writing Competition No.3!

What I think Formula 1 Technology should be

What I think Formula 1 Technology should be: - Innovative, The pinnacle of technology, Road car adaptable. Price capped.
I also think that to make it cheaper for teams, that customer cars are allowed back in.
To make things innovative, you need less rules. This will unrestricted the technology to be used and make it flexible enough that it can be used on road car.
So here goes.
The main components of the F1 car will now have to follow a set form of connecting to the rest of the chassis. Eg the front wing will be mounted using the same method and template on all chassis. The other components that will have set connections:
• Front Wing/crash structure
• Rear Wing/crash structure
• Power unit
• Monocoque
• Wishbones
• Brakes
Teams will also have to sell new, year old design parts to customer teams for an FIA set amount of money. The year old parts have to be of identical spec to the spec that the team used the years before. So if Adrian Newey finds out that making a front wing out of pure diamond is perfect, the following year they will have to prove a pure diamond wing to their customer for the FIA’s set price for what should be a fair amount for a carbon fibre wing. This will govern the amount of money that Teams will want to spend on exotic materials, however promoting innovation in design. Imagine a customer team next year having the ability to choose that they want Red Bull aero package, with a Mercedes Donkey in the back!
The maximum Aerodynamic down force level for each race will be set by the FIA, They will be able to check the amount of down force a car will produce as different speeds. To ensure that wings are not designed to stall at a set speed to hide how much down force they produce. This way Aerodynamicists will have to focus on reducing the drag of the cars. This is aimed at increasing fuel economy.
Power Units, No energy is to be stored in the vehicle at the start of the race apart from the fuel in the fuel tank. The FIA will set the maximum fuel rate but not the size of the fuel tank. That way the racing is controlled by the power until and not a fuel saving exercise. Energy harvesting and energy usage is unrestricted.
Customer teams because all the parts supplied by non-customer teams are limited to the price they can sell the parts for, Customer team will be able to budget how much a season will cost them. Customer teams will no doubt bring in upcoming talent, which will mean that they will be not as green when they get into bigger teams.

Thanks very much for our third entry! Things are hotting up now! get those entries in!!!
You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.
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Re: Writing Competition Number 4

Post by racechick »

:readit: :study:
Here is the FOURTH entry to Writing Competition No.4!




Boots target Vaginas for Christmas.


Boots have bravely launched a new line in intimate care products for the vagina. “We spotted a crack in the market and decided to fill it,” said spokesperson Wendy Paige, when interviewed just before Christmas . “No woman should suffer in silence because of her vagina, we want it all out in the open”.

Three vaginal problem areas have been identified and targeted. For the itchy vagina, there is ‘Itch Bitch’; for the smelly vagina,there is ‘Smell Well’; and for the sweaty vagina, the simply named, ‘No sweat!’

Boots are running an aggressive TV campaign which they timed to coincide with the start of the Christmas shopping period. Gift sets including the ‘Sweet Meat’ economy range, and the luxury ‘Designer Vagina’ collection have been available in stores since late November.

“Our Christmas campaign is aimed particularly at the male shopper whose lady, ‘already has everything’. The gift sets are flying off the shelves.” Enthused Ms Paige. “There will be a lot very happy ladies on Christmas morning!”

Thanks very much for our fourth entry! Any more for anymore? Can we make it five entries? Then we will go to voting! Come on guys and gals! get those thoughts down!
You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.
Abe Lincoln


Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. Abe Lincoln
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Re: Writing Competition Number 4

Post by Hammer278 »

When does this competition end....I kinda have an idea forming in my head for this one. Doing a thesis is such a pain, a break writing something else on ms word might be a break.
Breaking News: Lewis Hamilton has officially overtaken The Fonz in race wins. With 88 races less. Lol (Without a specially built blown diffuser, illegal front wing, preferential treatment)
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Re: Writing Competition Number 4

Post by racechick »

Well I've been rather lax, what with skiing and entertaining........what do we have, four entries? I was hoping to get a couple more. Tell you what. I'll give it a week from today and then we vote. How does that sound?
You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.
Abe Lincoln


Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. Abe Lincoln
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Re: Writing Competition Number 4

Post by Jabberwocky »

Sounds good
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Re: Writing Competition Number 4

Post by Jabberwocky »

can I submit my manual for selling canvasses? It has taken me hours and I am loosing all hope of finishing it lol
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Re: Writing Competition Number 4

Post by racechick »

Jabberwocky wrote:can I submit my manual for selling canvasses? It has taken me hours and I am loosing all hope of finishing it lol

Yes, if you think it's a good read!
You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.
Abe Lincoln


Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. Abe Lincoln
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Re: Writing Competition Number 4

Post by Jabberwocky »

No it is boring. Plus it is about 7 or 8 pages -(

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Re: Writing Competition Number 4

Post by racechick »

:readit: :study:
Here is the FIFTH entry to Writing Competition No.4!

The Forumula 1 Story

Here we come to a monologue of the first Forumula 1 Story.

A new kid on in the F1 block you say? Boy’s got talent, as proven in lower formulas by winning nearly every single race in every single Championship he’s driven since being a wee toddler. Rumour has it the boy’s had a couple of Lemons in his time and yet, never failed to give the big boys a run for their money. Frequent claims near trackside of “Boy’s absolutely Fly’nn!!”, “There he goes, tearin’ up another lap!” An absolute Frontrunner, the kid was…and IS! Truth be told, even the Factman has had a tough time believing in the kid’s talent, his sheer reputation trackside. References to James Hunt has begun, what with the kid now being only 18 and downing a few cans of Budweisers just before hitting the track on a Sunday. Make no mistake however, even he’s got an idol. A proper schumifan he calls himself, spending his time in front of a TV when he’s not in a car, watching old videos of those dominant races with the great Michael Schumacher simply tearing the competition apart. Always been a Ferrariman, the boy says….up until Renault Sport began backing the kid up since 12 years of course in Formula 3.

And finally, here he is on our first race weekend in sunny ol’ Melbourne 2017…ready to jump into the up and coming works Renault team, the French organization making huge strides over the past 3 years since their off season debacle of 2014. Not only sporting probably the best power unit made in Enstone, but also carving up one hell of a chassis, BigAzza the boy calls it. Only one of two chaps on the grid now who actually names their speedsters. Boy’s also the superstitious type it must be said. Carries around a little statue of a monkey, carved out of stone calling it his SpeedGod, to quote him “A little ornament protecting my very life since 11”. All’s well and good with Renault as long as the boy brings it, as Renault’s newly recruited boss Nin-Chin said on Friday. The regulations have changed again though, and this time around the Renault has been absolutely cookin’ the testing tracks with the flat-6 power unit roaring its way through a total of 4694 laps during the winter, the furthest of any team. Clear favourites, with a cheeky yet talented bru to boot, many eyes will be watching what the new sensation will have in store for all racers out there.

Qualifying Day

The boy gets his overalls on then, with new title sponsor Lovable Racing Works sporting his shoulder blades and chest area. Our boy racer pops a few mnm’s (Not a Magnum mind you), downs a ham sandwich, and gives his race engineer a right ol’ spank before getting into the blue/green shod Renault, ah what a beauty that car is… The radio crackles to life with race engineer giving the low down to our new sensation, “Engine mode on G8 during outlap, easy on right front and traction out of T3, T5, and penultimate on outlap... “, “Enough with the jibberjabber, let’s get to worky already!” cries the boy, his arms trembling in anticipation in starting his first ever qualifying lap on the biggest stage in motorsports.

The Lap

The Renault trundles it’s way around the outlap, feeling for the grip around the circuit and – a slight moment of drama, having to cut across Pastor Maldonado out of Turn 7 in order not to get baulked…the 18 year old taking absolutely no prisoners in his first official lap in Formula 1, even when it involved a driver with a reputation Vladimir Putin would be proud of. The world has just seen this boy means business. And he now begins his lap!
Inch perfect through Turn 1 (where many have faltered), carrying fantastic speed through Turn 2, heavy braking for Turn 3, smooth through T4 and T5…another late braking (slight lockup up though no fuss) while hitting the apex of T6 and it’s pedal to the medal stuff!! The Renault LRW reaches the main straight to Hammer down a 1:27:845, POLE POSITION by almost 9 tenths of a second to 2nd placed teammate, Kimi Raikkonen in the sister Renault LRW! Little did everyone know how beet red his face was through the entire lap, barely breathing. Hold on though, What’s Burning back at Turn 7? Just a barbecue gone a bit wild in the stands it seems.

Out of The Car

Q: “That was a hell of a lap. You’ve clinched pole position in your first ever F1 race, in a car which looks the business and could take you to become the youngest World Champ in Formula 1 history. Please share with us your thoughts right now”
The Boy: Bloody awesome mate. I could use me a race chick right about now.

No doubt, this teen monster's got the potential to enter Sennaville territory in the future.




Thanks very much for our FIFTH entry! A superb contribution! anyone else out there thinking of entering? you have a couple of days!!
You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.
Abe Lincoln


Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. Abe Lincoln
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Re: Writing Competition Number 4

Post by LewEngBridewell »

Boooooo! I'm not mentioned! :(
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Re: Writing Competition Number 4

Post by LRW »

:headpat:
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Re: Writing Competition Number 4

Post by geetface9 »

beet face!!! :rofl: :clap:
Not bad for a #2 driver
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Re: Writing Competition Number 4

Post by 1Lemon »

LewEngBridewell wrote:Boooooo! I'm not mentioned! :(

Even mnm got a mention!
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Re: Writing Competition Number 4

Post by LRW »

1Lemon wrote:
LewEngBridewell wrote:Boooooo! I'm not mentioned! :(

Even mnm got a mention!


Harsh.

I think LEB is bluffing - he is the author....
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