Writing Competition Number 4

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Poll ended at 14 Mar 14, 22:52

Church and church workers in danger of extinction.
1
25%
The first time.
1
25%
What I think F1 Technology should be.
0
No votes
Boots target vaginas for Christmas.
0
No votes
The Formula1 story
2
50%
 
Total votes: 4

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racechick
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Writing Competition Number 4

Post by racechick »

WRITING COMPETITION NO.4
It's that time again! Competition number 4 is up and running. I've already heard interest expressed in writing articles form two different sources!
The competition will be annonymous until after voting closes when the authors will be revealed. So just pm your article to me and I'll enter it in the competition.
KEEP THOSE ENTRIES COMING!!!! Closing date TBA , sometime in December.
Good luck everyone!!

Rules
1. The article MUST be your original work.
2. You can choose any topic that is covered by the sections on the forum.
3. The style of your entry is entirely up to you. (poem, report, analysis, personal experience, research etc .etc.)
4. Without being too prescriptive, it should be of a reasonable length.
5. The content of the article will be governed by the rules of the forum, just as your posts in the forum are.
6. You may enter up to three different articles in each competition.
7. You cannot vote for your own entry/entries.
8. You can only enter an article once
You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.
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Re: Writing Competition Number 4

Post by Jabberwocky »

This might be of interest http://nanowrimo.org/

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Re: Writing Competition Number 4

Post by racechick »

I might have a look at that. Have you signed up for it jab?
You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.
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Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. Abe Lincoln
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Re: Writing Competition Number 4

Post by Jabberwocky »

I don't have the time to do it. I am struggling to find time to write pt2.

I have an idea for a book, but if I get it up and running I would donate all the cash to charity.

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Re: Writing Competition Number 4

Post by Denthúl »

NaNoWriMo is great fun! Sadly, this is the first year I haven't taken part in it since I started (2006 I think). :(
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Re: Writing Competition Number 4

Post by Jabberwocky »

Have you had anything published?

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Re: Writing Competition Number 4

Post by Denthúl »

I haven't. I've never made the 50,000 words required to 'win', either - my best attempt was just short of 37k and that tale is still unfinished. Maybe one day I'll actually get round to finishing something, NaNoWriMo or otherwise. :P
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Re: Writing Competition Number 4

Post by racechick »

Do you have to write it all in a month? I have lots of ideas but im a bit slow.
Dent , you old fox! I' ll be expecting and entry from you this time then!
You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.
Abe Lincoln


Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. Abe Lincoln
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Re: Writing Competition Number 4

Post by Jabberwocky »

Ah ha busted

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Re: Writing Competition Number 4

Post by Denthúl »

racechick wrote:Do you have to write it all in a month? I have lots of ideas but im a bit slow.
Dent , you old fox! I' ll be expecting and entry from you this time then!


Yeah, you have to write the novel(la) itself within the month, but you are allowed to do your planning in advance, otherwise for some people it would be an impossible task. Sometimes I plan in advance, other times I just grab an idea and go with it. Neither has yielded the kind of success I was hoping for... :P

Jabberwocky wrote:Ah ha busted

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And I would've gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for those meddling kids!
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Re: Writing Competition Number 4

Post by racechick »

:readit: :study:
Here is the first entry to Writing Competition No.3! AT LAST! AT LAST! AT LAST!!

Church and church workers in danger of extinction!


Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby has called for urgent measures to prevent the church and its noble breed of clerics from becoming extinct by the end of the decade." In accordance with the Endangered Species Preservation Act of 1966(ESA), the clerics need a safe haven and familiar habitat." Said the Archbishop.
In a two pronged attack to preserve the species, Westminster Abbey has been chosen as a sanctuary and a team of experts are already rescuing clerics from far and wide.
Not only do we need to save these animals, explained project manager Mr. Gimble, we also need to make the whole church experience more attractive to the young to ensure long term survival. In a bid to address this issue, Mr. Gimble gave a brief flavour of planned attractions:

‘Do it with the Dancing Deacons.’
‘Vestal Virgins’, performing to Madonna’s Like a Virgin’;
‘Jerk and Twerk with the Naughty Nuns’.
A firm favourite with visitors is expected to be the choir boy enclosure. “ This”, the manager gushed excitedly,” will be a very, hands on exhibit, designed to embrace the young.”

Refreshments will be served in the vestry by the 'Fat Friar', providing such culinary favourites as fish, burger or sausage with chips. A range of old favourites and exciting new cocktails will include; S e x on the Bench, Hanky-Panky, Paradise Pus sy, Bloody Mary, Devil’s Advocaat, Pulsing Priests and Orgasmic Sister. The Archbishop will personally be running wine tasting sessions and has already secured bulk orders of Blue Nun and Chateau Neuf du Pape.

Mr. Gimble was delighted to announce that Reverend Paul Flowers is already on board and will be running a drugs programme. The thrust of his campaign will be ‘Drugs wreck careers’, and, ‘Just say yes’.

A s e x education programme, ‘No s e x is safe s e x ’ will be run by the ‘Clericus Celebus’ branch of clerics; whilst financial and legal classes, run by Clerics from America and Italy, vastly experienced in the difficulties of s e x offending today, will focus on, ‘how to not get caught’,’ how to avoid litigation’ and ‘how to offset bankruptcy’.

A final word of caution came from head zoologist, Sarah Black. ”To guarantee their future, these animals must start breeding. Some species have no interest in s e x whatsoever others are only interested in intercourse with very young same s e x partners. On joining this sanctuary all inmates must sign up for either ‘Celibacy sucks’, or ‘S e x with ladies, makes babies’.


Thanks very very much for the entry! now come on everyone else! its the off season, get writing!!
You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.
Abe Lincoln


Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. Abe Lincoln
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Re: Writing Competition Number 4

Post by sagi58 »

OK, the positive first:

:clap: definitely ingenious to compare humans to endangered species;
:clap: fascinating read to see just how far the comparison was taken.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Let me preface the rest of my comment by saying that I truly do recognize the fact that everyone
has the right to an opinion and that they have the right to voice it.

Having said that, I don't believe it's necessary to abuse that right by making derogatory comments
about another's religion. And, I do understand that Religious leaders have set themselves up for
ridicule in all manner of ways; but, at the end of the day, generalizations really are disrespectful.

p.s. I will apologize, in advance, to the author, who I believe is definitely a gifted writer!!
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Re: Writing Competition Number 4

Post by racechick »

Well......I've been digging around a bit, and in defence of the author, he/ she is only expanding on what the church have said themselves.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/religio ... ishop.html

http://www.catholicculture.org/news/hea ... ryid=19770

http://www.shropshirestar.com/news/2013 ... -audience/

There's lots more of these if you just google 'church' and 'extinct'
You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.
Abe Lincoln


Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. Abe Lincoln
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Re: Writing Competition Number 4

Post by sagi58 »

Maybe the word "extinct" was an unfortunate choice!

And, as I posted earlier, I don't have any problems with the how
it was written... actually, it was pretty brilliant!!
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Re: Writing Competition Number 4

Post by racechick »

:readit: :study:
Here is the SECOND entry to Writing Competition No.3!

The First Time

I was sitting at my desk in my bedroom on a fairly plain night several years ago. I had my television, on a stand to my left, playing a show quitely for some soft background noise. Directly in front of me sat my desktop computer. It was a warm summer night around 3am. My room was black, save for the glow of the TV and the streetlights. They were orange and infiltrated my room through the blinds, mixing wonderfully with the shadows. My fan was on, providing for a calming rhythmic sound and a refreshing flow of air. I had just got home from work and let my hair down for the first time in eleven hours. My feet were tired and my spirit was repressed. It was a lonely night.

I started playing a game on my computer. The screen emitted an array of lovely, warm colors as I began entertaining myself. I breathed a heavy sigh and let out a small groan, letting the stress of the day flow out of my body. I leaned back in my chair after a few minutes of enjoying my game and stared blankly at my ceiling. I felt somber, although it seemed there was nothing about which to feel somber. I looked at my blinds to the right and thought about those orange streetlights. They were always there...for five years straight, they were always there when I got home from work. They never failed me. I have sat on the curb under them with my head in my hands, broken, hollow, and depressed dozens of times. They stood there, silent and unjudging. I let those thoughts go and turned to another.

I walked to my kitchen and filled a glass with ice, grabbed a diet cola from the fridge and walked back to my room. When I was once again in my chair, basking in the serenity of orange and black, I pulled from my pocket a gift. A friend had given me an exquisite treat that day in the form of a small glass bottle that held no more than two or three ounces of a liquid. It was small bottle of W.L. Weller bourbon. I unscrewed the cap and poured the lovely golden fluid over the ice in my glass. I let it mellow there for a few minutes before indulging.

After a few moments of staring off again at those beams of orange bleeding through the blinds, thinking about the sorrows and pleasantries that I had experienced under their quiet persistence, I lifted my glass and took a sip. I don't remember that first sip, not because it wasn't memorable or that I became too intoxicated, but because that was not what was important. What was important was how I felt minutes later. The warmth spread through me slowly, yet distinctly. My face began to tingle and my breaths became lighter and lighter, less weighted by stress. My shoulders relaxed and the muscles in my neck loosened. I became unaware of my weary feet. My spirit began to lift quite noticeably. I took another, larger sip this time. I could almost taste the sweet cedar barrel from which it came. I topped off my glass with diet cola and finished the concoction quickly. It began to affect me more intensely moments later. This was the best I had felt in a long, long time and it left a lasting impression. I still remember it like it was yesterday. My arms felt as if they would start floating at any minute and I just wanted to let this feeling of euphoric ecstasy flood my soul forever. As I felt this rush, I began gaming again. I let all the negative and uselessly nostalgic thoughts leave my mind and, for the time being I was man seemingly reborn, no longer troubled by the burdens of this world or any other.

Thanks very much for our second entry! Now keep them coming!!
You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.
Abe Lincoln


Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. Abe Lincoln